I am putting into practice a need to stay positive.
No point in re-visiting the past nor regretting moves already made.
Why must I complain about receiving something that is nothing short of a blessing because I forgot about other factors or just consciously chose to not take those other factors into consideration?
This was your choice; you made a conscious decision. Clearly, you are in control.
I am in control. I am in control of what I eat. I decide if and when I want to workout, weather permitting. I control the challenges I impose on myself. I need to lose control of those challenges that are unwarranted and hold onto those that are, like going out of one’s comfort zone.
So here’s to writing a post not sullied by anxiety and a low tolerance for idleness at the workplace.
There is now less than 90 minutes to go.
I planned on stopping by a soup franchise to pick up free crackers for later consumption. I had made this decision days ago and so spending the extra couple of minutes to refill my overlooked zero-balanced MetroCard to get home won’t be a huge deal.
Consider yesterday - the train took a good 25 minutes to come in spite of your semi-jog to the train station.
It does not matter so much when you get home today because today is the last day of the work week. You have the option of not getting off the bus at an earlier stop so as to walk for exercise because you need to have more meat on your bones. Staying on the bus will enable you to reach home earlier.
The earlier the better: You have to take a quick shower and lather your hair and scalp so as to keep away the subway stench from the past three days.
You are not looking forward to this weekly cleansing. Upon standing underneath the warm shower, however, rest assured you will be overcome with a sense of calm.
At this point I’ll be unwinding, grateful to be at ease, with my sense of self in tact.
Never one to favor being completely alone, I know that my mother will have left work by the time I begin the detoxification process described above and will arrive shortly after I finish the task.
Following the cathartic cleansing will be a therapeutic trip to the supermarket. I’ll walk the aisles, steering clear of produce sure to have been picked by pesky patrons and admire unsullied produce due to the protective layer that is skin: this includes bananas.
I’ll smell the waft coming from the freshly baked items and the aromas from the rotisserie chickens behind the deli counter from which the smell of fresh cheese being cut will also emanate. Not surprisingly, I would never consider eating that roasted chicken, cold cuts, or the bagels, pies, muffins, and cookies being baked in bulk.
I’ll take heart in the fact that here too I have control.
I can go to the self-checkout lane and bag items at my convenience. I can be environmentally unaware and double bag heavier items or those that are prone to causing condensation since they belong in the freezer.
Then I’ll come home and indulge in the wafts of my mother preparing the requested hearty dinner that I need to eat for my own well-being.
The day will go on and I know that the days thereafter will be lived according to my own discretion.
Would you look at that?
Things are looking up already.
Although, in deciding to put positivity into practice while crafting this post, I first had to identify all the negative aspects, the energy of which I wish to release.
That is to say: I’m going to waste time filling up the MetroCard and have to touch the public machine using my knuckles rather than my more porous fingertips.
I’m going to have to rush home because odds are I will exit the bus early considering the fact that it will be raining the next three days and I won’t be able to actively stretch my legs.
I then will have to move efficiently when unlocking the door, putting everything in its place, and washing my hair without pausing to enjoy the hot shower.
How will I style my curly, unsettled, freshly washed hair before heading out to grocery shop?
Putting into Practice is a double-sided task.
Perhaps I overlooked the logic in this process when deciding to put into practice, Putting into Practice.
Perhaps - but at least there is a positive and the positive is quite a bit longer than its counterpart.