LXXII. A Memoir in a Collection of Cassette Tapes -

I’m not sentimental but I am nostalgic, and no, ‘sentimental’ and 'nostalgic’ are not synonymous.

I don’t know if this is common or not, but I associate songs and smells to seasons and have, in my head, a kind of Hindi/Urdu/Punjabi soundtrack to my life.

Now that the sky seems to be getting darker some seconds and mere minutes earlier with each passing day, and the weather becomes extremely cool one day, before reverting to 85 degree days once again, the nearness of Fall has become more and more apparent.

The previous sentence you just finished reading, I hope, has read musically. After all, I am trying in earnest to describe how certain songs remind me of a seasonal event; a seasonal feeling or event previously experienced within said season. While writing this bold-faced sentence, I purposefully included alliterations to describe the time passing by because I wanted to reflect as accurately as possible, how I feel time to be passing before the full-fledged arrival of Fall. I also hope you take out of my repetition of the word “more”, my impatience with the future arriving - a habit that  I have possessed forever.

My habit of wanting to live in the future and never fully being content in the present, has followed me since my departure from outside the womb.

From being born two weeks late, a mature baby, to having a full head of hair that could be tied in a pony-tail by 7 months, I was always eager to gain knowledge and age beyond my years.

I do not know why.

One Hindi film’s songs in particular that I associate with Fall weather and scenery, are from Rockstar, directed by Imtiaz Ali.

Ironically, I think this verse from the Rockstar song, Jo Bhi Mein, perfectly identifies my attempt at describing how I superimpose songs’ musicality with the musicality in the happenings of my life.


Jo hai bhi aur nahin bhi hai yeh,
fizaa, gataa, hawaa, bahaarein -
Mujhe… Kare… Ishare…. Yeh!
Kaise kahoon… kahaani mein inki -


Everything that’s there and those that aren’t,
These mild breeze, dark clouds, the air and the seasons themselves -

They make this gesture…and how do I narrate their tale?

Song:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXtkrpNmQy8


How do I narrate my tale about how my life has a continuous soundtrack, beyond what I have written thus far? 

My soundtrack is continuous and is changing.

The film Rockstar and the music for it was just released only last year. Prior to this, I had other songs that had played in my head, and I have had other movie stills juxtaposed alongside my observed reality.

My observed reality, as opposed to my unobserved reality?

Right, because my unobserved reality is the future and who knows?; The future may bring a new soundtrack.