I realize this is a public platform but since feedback is non-existent, I believe it is safe to assume that in the act of always writing for an audience I am still writing for myself.
“You’re not Indian.”
“You’re half Spanish so I don’t know why […] should affect you.”
I never thought that the first statement would provoke me the way it did and yet it did - again.
I swear the liquid blood circulating was palpable and then some other liquid surfaced on my face.
I just walked away from the speaker and sat facing the house’s main-street facing window with a laptop in my hands.
You know how when you sit with an unplugged laptop the screen’s back-light inevitably becomes dim?
Well, obviously my walk away was jolted and in the moment, dragging the charger would have detracted from the momentous reaction.
The sun is out and the tree is billowing - it seems like a pleasant day.
You know how when you use your laptop outside and it is sunny, your laptop screen becomes a black dearth of not nothing, (because you may very well be reflected by the screen and thereby see yourself, which is far from nothing), but you cannot see any computing activity?
Well, that is happening right now.
I can still see what I am typing however, because I am not sitting outside but on a worn-black leather couch facing a closed window.
The dramatics of life are so completely unnecessary and yet people still desire it.
You see, the darkened screen, that acts to obstruct my view of this post, does not cause me to wail.
No - this is an expected part of this machinery’s mechanics and if it bothered me so, endowed with life that I am, I can choose to determine where my legs will take me next, away from the couch and to the nearest outlet-cum-chair and table- situation.
If you are so bored to be entertained by what you call an “argument” because you know that it will fulfill your life for three days at least, and then get bored by the once entertaining “argument” that you bore, and then to choose to end it when you will, you must remember that I am not an “argument” but a human, and as such, as stated before, I can choose to determine where my legs take me and I choose not to mutually end this when you so desire.
Yesterday I was walking outside. It was so pleasant - not too hot, gusts of wind sporadically appeared just when perspiration seemed a side-effect of the sun’s welcoming rays. Birds were actually chirping…
I figured out how to delete the old songs from my BlackBerry and add new incredible songs all belonging to a place that I apparently cannot call my own.
Nothing is mine -
In that moment, in the flux of the “argumentative” context, but walking by myself, I smiled.
Life was beautiful. It was so simple a context: The outside, the weather, the music - Life was incredible.
People choose to cause despair.
As mentioned before, (and what seems to be a thematic part of this post), these people are human and can choose to foot the path that they wish, even if it is at odds with mine.
This being at odds, I swear -
Opposites attract and because they do we are stuck here, in a stalemate because of the laws of science, and this forever-polarizing magnetic force.
Physics is truly a tortuous field of study, no?